Highlight Reel

At the beginning of 2020, my days were filled to the brim - to-do lists, workout routines, actual 9 to 5 work, etc. Whatever was left went to feed my creativity, which usually got pushed to the next day and then the next day after that. I was constantly hungry, with my writing shoved down into a pit unable to get enough air to surface, let alone be fully released. Then during quarantine, I discovered more time, and that time began to grow. I started to have so much time on my hands, I had completed my goal for the year, six months in. I had crafted and created, written and edited. I was feeling full... until I wasn’t. I had done so much, I actually found the feeling of boredom again. It was monotonous how slow time moved, and I felt like I was wasting precious hours I would’ve killed for previously. I knew that I needed to just breathe, rest in the time I was rarely gifted. The routine mode kicked in, but at a much slower pace. I felt like I was moving through the motions again, trying to fill my day, trying to go to bed feeling accomplished.

That’s when I realized, I needed to start appreciating each day in a different light. So instead of going to bed exhausted with my mind racing like it did at the beginning of the year or wondering what else I could’ve accomplished with my free time I now had, I started going back through each day like I was watching a movie trailer. I’d lay there, thinking about the smell of the coffee when I first started my day. I’d visualize how happy Otis was to be laying on the porch and going for a walk; how he’d exerted so much energy and excitement at other dogs in the nearby neighborhood. I’d breathe deeply, reminiscing on the scent of the flowers in the field I’d taken him to. I’d watch myself sing and dance to music, feeling my fingers strum the strings of the ukulele. I remembered how each meal tasted and the empowerment I felt when I pushed myself to lift the heavier weights today. I thought of the love I put into creating my book, the way my husband picked me up when he came home from work, and the laughter on the couch as we watched our favorite shows together. I watched the conversations with God. How my heart felt restless, yet held. I lay there smiling, my eyes closed, watching the highlight reel from the day - a day that now held rare beauty.