God is an Ocean

My closeness to God is like the ebb and flow of the ocean waves. At times I feel close to God. Like when the ocean meets the shore and tickles my toes, it’s as if Jesus is washing my feet. I can see through the water. See glimpses of his creation. Of his plan. And then, other times when the waves are drawn back out, all I can see is this vast amount of dark water, like an almighty God I should fear but not in the way he wants. I can’t see in that water and it feels so far away, and I feel so small. Like he’s left me to drown or maybe I’ve left him. I just want to spend a casual day on the beach with him. Knowing he’s there. Feeling him in the sun on my face. And then I want to do that the next day and the next one after that. Never again afraid of the depths of the water, never again feeling far from shore.